“This Is My End” was originally published in 2022. Republished in 2026. Original reader comments have been preserved and may refer to an earlier version of this piece.
It’s not that I don’t want to be here
it’s just that I don’t belong here
See the difference?
I don’t fit into the stereotypes they are building
I always stand out
That’s just who I am
And I can’t change that
But sometimes it gets so cold
And isolated
That I just want to die
The degree of loneliness reaching sub-zero
I’m frozen
I’m dead
I feel nothing and nothing feels me
This is how it’s meant to be is it not?
The feeling of isolation swamps my very being until I disappear
This is it
This is the end
This is my end
-Primrose Morrison
“This Is My End” focuses on the feelings of depression, isolation and wanting to fit in.
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With love and a little ink,
Primrose.
Last Updated on 10/23/2026 by Primrose
Are you one of these writers that prides yourself on being able to produce anything, whether you feel it or not? Jeff Schroeder, Billy Corgan’s guitarist, incidentally also an English professor, has that sort of approach. Billy tells him what to play, and he plays it. Perfectly. Exactly with every nuance that is intended. Whether he wrote it, whether Billy did, or whether James Iha did. If Jeff is playing, you never know if Jeff, Billy, or James is playing, because Jeff can reproduce anything perfectly in the style of the original artist, or his own, regardless of how he feels. Is that how you are with your writing? Or do you have exactly this same feeling, and “by chance” you write these exact same things?
Just curious.
I tend to write what I feel, so most of what I publish on here will be based on what i am feel or have felt in the past. However, if I am given a piece to produce, I will produce it to the best of my ability.
“The degree of loneliness reaching sub-zero” – Good line. Those are some well-constructed words.
Thank you
Remember, we’re watching You’re not alone.
Oh Primrose! You there? You’re going to miss your writing goals!
You know, you wrote a poem about your end. A pretty intense one. So there are some ways to look at your title. One could say it’s a reference to perspective. “I always see your end of things, but this is my end.” Another could be reference to the sad fatalism of depression. People get like this all the time, they can’t get out. “I’m never going to get out of this feeling. This is my end. This is how I will always be, this is how I will be when I die.” However, you reference death a couple of times here.
Now I thought Rob and I would make you feel a bit better by letting you know we care. I get depressed too. I feel alone too. And I thought letting you know we are listening and waiting for your next poems would motivate you to tell us what’s on your heart.
But we are coming up on a week, and no poems. You said you were going to write all kinds of blogs and essays and poetry and stuff. We also talked about how it can be hard to meet those goals sometimes. But you know, right after writing about a poem that could be interpreted as being pretty close to a suicide letter, I was REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hoping that you’d write something soon. I wrote you an e-mail yesterday. No response. Those always go to junk. So I just want to remind you that you wrote a poem about being at the absolute end. I read it. I’m waiting for your next poem. It can be a shitty one. Write me a limerick. I really want you to build this site, girl. You’re gonna do great, okay?
Just write something soon, please.
Hi Jonathan,
Thank you so much for checking in, it means a lot to me. My family and I got sick over the weekend, so I have been in bed since. However, I am feeling a lot better now and will be posting something by tomorrow. I will also be replying to your email then as well. Thank you again ❤️
Okay, awesome!
So then one tip. If you’re planning to write something kinda suicidish, maybe have your next bit already written so you can just click send the next day if you get sick. People might worry. I should probably jot that note down for myself too.
I look forward to your e-mail.
Glad you’re feeling better.
Well, my daughter is telling me she doesn’t want to work on her site anymore. And I guess you were just an internet occurrence. I hope you are well. Sorry you aren’t writing.
I’m sorry to hear that your daughter choose to not work on her blog anymore, maybe she just needs a break.
I think she is too shy for the job. And she struggles with motivation.
How are you? All better, I hope.
Life is surreal here.
I don’t wanna be pushy, but I DO hope you put something up.
🙂 I just did and I understand. I also struggle with finding motivation to do what needs to be done and I’m quite an introvert, however, I think maybe she just needs a break to decide what she wants to do and take time to herself.
Yeah, she is definitely on a do her own thing kick. Has been for a couple years now. She is a GREAT writer, though.